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Archive for June, 2017|Monthly archive page

APPLE WATCH SERIES 2

In Howard Schatz, wrist on June 21, 2017 at 8:15pm06


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1. ‘Sup, fam?! You’re goals, bro! I know everyone tells you that, bruh! Shit’s tight! And awesome!

You can cool it. I’m a sure thing.

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2. Whatever do you mean? Aaaanyways, if you could choose any four items to accompany you, what would they be?

An Alexander McQueen button down shirt, a pair of Universal Works pants, a pair of Asher Vans and Han Kang’s “Vegetarian.”

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3. How would you finish the following, “The floor is…”?

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Of no concern.

4. You are not about this life are you?

Or I’m not your clown. A simple task and around fifty-six extra things I’ve been created to handle and that’s it.

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5. Got it. It’s been a while since I’ve done this but what do think about taking a page from Mr. Howard Schatz and we have you get into a few characters?

I’m fine with that.

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 6. Killin’ the game, bro! Let’s go! How would you respond to the following scenarios?

a. A bouncer refers to the man wearing you as “sir” when he asks him to step aside so he can let a very desirable group of eight into the “at capacity” club.

b. You’re a day away from Series 3’s release.

c. A Cartier Tank Solo slides into your DMs.

Wow. Is sliding into a DM relevant anymore? Feels like the world’s moved on.

7. Look, I’m trying here! Can you just work with me?! We’re almost at the finish line.

Fine. Here you go…

a. A bouncer refers to the man wearing you as “sir” when he asks him to step aside so he can let a very desirable group of eight into the “at capacity” club.

b. You’re a day away from Series 3’s release.

c. A Cartier Tank Solo slides into your DMs.

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b.Send-an-emoji-Apple-Watch-1000x600

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8. That’s what’s up! You’re an Apple product therefore all-knowing. So, because it’s about to burn a hole in my brain, who is this guy?

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tHAt’S WHaT’s uP! YoU’rE aN aPPle pRoDuCt tHerefORe aLl-kNOwing. sO, BeCauSe iT’s AboUt To bURn A hOle iN My bRAin, WHo iS tHiS Guy?

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9. Ha! Joke’s on you! That meme died four weeks ago. Had a bit a resurgence last week but that was it. Now, would you kindly take the L and answer my question?

“Take the…”? I can’t. Let’s end this. It’s former Giant Bomb video producer, Drew Scanlon, reacting to something his co-worker said.

10.  Okay. So what did the freakin’ co-worker say?

If this were 10 questions you’d know by now.

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JOHANNA ORTIZ ‘CICILIA’ SILK SKIRT

In bottom on June 15, 2017 at 8:15am06

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1. If you could style yourself what would you choose as the accoutrements?

I think I’m simply going it alone. I mean, look at me. I’m pretty sure I’m enough.

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2. Wait. So, technically everywhere, save for you, your person’s body will be…?

Exposed. Free. One with the elements both on me and out in the world.

3. That’s a first around here and I like it. Okay, next question. What is a dream you’re working on realizing?

To be given the task of coming up with a Jeopardy lane.

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4. Interesting. And what would be the title of this lane?

“Vlad to the Bone.”

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5.  There’s a surprise around every corner with you. And you don’t at all strike me as a garment that would be into Vlad the Impaler, yet and still, can we take this all the way and have you provide us with the answers?

Thought you’d never ask.

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6. Keep in mind, we’re in Double Jeopardy because otherwise what would be the point?

 I couldn’t agree more. Here goes…

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7. And can you put a Daily Double in there? 

It was already in the plan. Now shut up and here goes…

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8. If you could be reimagined by any artist who would you choose?

The brilliant and incomparable Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

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source:  Lakin Ogunbanwo

9. Lastly, what is something the world would find very interesting about the person currently wearing you?

 I’m very much about full disclosure and so I’d like to preface what I’m about to tell you by telling you that I was a gift from my lady’s mother. As you can see from the price tag, I’m less of a Kickstarter and more of a baller–budget kinda skirt. Now, with that out of the way, my girl’s currently trying to get off the ground a magazine called UGH. It’s similar to i-D but instead of a wink, you get an aggressive eye roll.