clean retina


In bits on June 11, 2013 at 8:15pm06


1. If you could style yourself what accoutrements would you invite along?

A limited edition Cohiba, the Brooks Bros. sock garter, the Barneys New York, mid-calf sock and a pair of Church’s, lace-up brogues.




2. Do you have a message for child stars everywhere? 

Attempting a variation of Anthony Fremont in your daily life does not make for a good look.

3. Is there a specific child star that might be skating pretty close to the A.F. emulation line?

If I told you I’m extremely afraid to answer that question would I both loudly and clearly answer that question?


4. Got it. Is there a love note you’d like to send out to the most loved and lauded person wearing you?

Boy, is there! And he’s gonna love it!

5. Uum… “he”? Not that I have a problem with that but… It’s just interesting is all.

Okay, listen. Now, I know in your world some might have a major problem with men wearing garments specifically crafted for women but–

6. I’d like to be very clear. We are all created equally, each one of us equipped with our own, personal ways of navigating through this life. If a gentleman feels the need to wear a triangle, appliqué bikini then who am I to judge? I want to be clear, okay?

Calm down, sweetheart. No one’s accusing you of anything. Anyway, that discrimination doesn’t exist amongst us. We’re just happy being loved, adored, worn… and it doesn’t matter who does it. My man treats me unimaginably well. Purchased the Cadillac of steamers to tend to me, keeps a humidifier on at all times in the closet. Tells the wife it’s for her plethora of kaftans and one-piece, skirt suits but that’s far from the case. It’s all just for me.


7. Does any part of you ever wish Iris —  rocket body, the one to peruse you moments before your guy plucked you from the table, going to the Maldives with her boyfriend in December — was the person to take you home? 

Ha! Absolutely not. The Dow? That S&P? Neither is a game. It’s grueling work for my guy. The joy I feel knowing I can be there to take the edge off at the end of the day… God only knows the spouse can’t. He’s out breakin’ rocks six days week while she attempts to spend every solitary nickel he earns. And he earns a lot of nickels, okay? My guy makes Lear nickels — jet or king… It’s your choice. How she can look herself in the mirror is beyond me, but whatever. Thank god I came along or else he would’ve definitely lost his mind long, long ago.


8. Totally, but he doesn’t want to maybe take a very fit mistress and put her in you?

Um, no and that’s because he’s not a walking cliché, “Ooooo… look at me. I’m squat, have plugs and make an S-ton of money. Time to go out and find something gorgeous and a foot taller to make me feel more virile.” My man looks inner for strength. Know this.

9. What is a dream you’re working on realizing?

On my man, accompanied by…





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