1. What is your favorite malapropism?
Hmm, let me think… I don’t know. What’s your favorite malapropism?
2. If you could style yourself what would you choose as the accoutrements?
Whatever you think works. You seem to have a very keen eye. I trust you.
3. If you could be worn by anyone whom would it be?
You’re the expert. Who do you think I should be worn by?
4. What is a dream you’re working on realizing?
That’s so funny! It just so happens to be the same dream you’re working on realizing! *whispers* What is it?!
5. If not you then what?
I’ll totally defer to you.
6. You’ve reached the end, what is the final meal?
My palette’s been pretty finicky lately so again, your choice?
7. Do you always exhibit such abject deference?
*boisterous laughter morphs into guttural sobs*
8. Wait. I didn’t mean anything by it. Why’re you crying?
*sobbing* I just want you to be satisfied is all. I mean, aren’t I enough? I feel like I’ve done everything I can do to conform to what you want me to be but even that doesn’t seem to suffice. So, I’m needy! Sue me! It could be that I had dreams of my own, ya know! That I’ve given who I am, my own personal wants and needs, over to what you think I should be. God… I’m so pathetic. Say it! Just say it! I know it’s what you’re thinking. Sitting there watching this blithering mess of canvas and polyurethane who seems to have made a career out of eschewing its self-respect. *sigh* Maybe they were right. Maybe those who wait for life to happen to them are the unlucky ones.
9. Oh boy… Look, I’m in no way wanting to add to what appears to be some very deep-rooted, unresolved issues of self-worth. So, starting now, a new leaf, okay? And I’m going to help turn it over, okay? Here goes. New Balance US574, will you find the courage to turn your back on the next person who comes to you asking that you conform to what they want?!
*a moment to ruminate* Would that make you happy?