clean retina


In upper body on May 12, 2011 at 8:15pm05

1. What is something about you one would never guess?

I’m a neurotic shut-in. I had a past, okay? But, I cleaned up that past and so here I am.

2. Overrated?

Being iry, leaving the house, surfboards, placebo effects and the following color combination…

3. If not you then what?

Asking me that is like asking a millipede which leg it sets off on.

4. If you could style yourself what would be the accoutrements?

Have we met?

5. We asked a few of your old friends – flip-flops, chapped lips, the bikini top, peeling nose, Sex Wax and cut-off denim shorts – what your favorite song was back in the day and they all came back with the same answer. What do you think it was?

Man, even I can’t get mad at this question. The one and only, cue the steel drum… *sings* Bitty bitty bong bong bitty bong bong bitty bong bong bitty beng. Bong bong bitty bong bong… Good ol’ Eek-A-Mouse. Gotta love the guy. Wow, that really took me back to a simpler time. A lot of fun we all had together. Clearly, I couldn’t handle most of it which is why I had to make some pretty strict changes but still… *sigh* Wow, I haven’t thought about those days in years.

6. Are you okay?

Oh yeah. I’ll be fine. Can you just excuse me? One moment.

2 hours later…

7. Whoa! Don’t fall. You were gone for quite a while. Is something burning?

I’m staaaaarivin’, maaaan! You starvin’? I’m starvin’? I have a taste for some super spicy, super cheesy *pause* super spicy Frito-Lays.

8. Do you think it’s such a good idea for you to climb up there?

Totally. This is the only way to keep your exoskeleton from tryin’ to read your mind. Plus, I can’t  be down there with all the semicolons turning on each other.

9.  Should I put a call into your sponsor?


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