1. What is something about you one would never guess?
I’m a neurotic shut-in. I had a past, okay? But, I cleaned up that past and so here I am.
Being iry, leaving the house, surfboards, placebo effects and the following color combination…
3. If not you then what?
Asking me that is like asking a millipede which leg it sets off on.
4. If you could style yourself what would be the accoutrements?
Have we met?
5. We asked a few of your old friends – flip-flops, chapped lips, the bikini top, peeling nose, Sex Wax and cut-off denim shorts – what your favorite song was back in the day and they all came back with the same answer. What do you think it was?
Man, even I can’t get mad at this question. The one and only, cue the steel drum… *sings* Bitty bitty bong bong bitty bong bong bitty bong bong bitty beng. Bong bong bitty bong bong… Good ol’ Eek-A-Mouse. Gotta love the guy. Wow, that really took me back to a simpler time. A lot of fun we all had together. Clearly, I couldn’t handle most of it which is why I had to make some pretty strict changes but still… *sigh* Wow, I haven’t thought about those days in years.
6. Are you okay?
Oh yeah. I’ll be fine. Can you just excuse me? One moment.
2 hours later…
7. Whoa! Don’t fall. You were gone for quite a while. Is something burning?
I’m staaaaarivin’, maaaan! You starvin’? I’m starvin’? I have a taste for some super spicy, super cheesy *pause* super spicy Frito-Lays.
8. Do you think it’s such a good idea for you to climb up there?
Totally. This is the only way to keep your exoskeleton from tryin’ to read your mind. Plus, I can’t be down there with all the semicolons turning on each other.
9. Should I put a call into your sponsor?