1. If you could style yourself what would be the accoutrements?
2. Is there a pose an autobiographical fashion blogger should never leave home without?
A pigeon toe, the incurve variant, when posing for pictures.
3. What is the perfect way to spend the day?
Tinigua National Park located in the Colombian Amazon, atop the head of an ornithologist who has recently started coming up with cartoon submissions for The New Yorker as a way to pass the time while waiting for the ever elusive Salvin’s Curassow to appear.
4. Can you give us a sample of her work?
Sure. It’s akin to this sort of haunting, “Po-hic. Po ho ho hoo… Po-hic. Po ho ho hoo… Po-hic. Po —
5. I was thinking more in terms of the ornithologist’s cartoon submissions. Can you give us a sample of her work?
Oh. Slight misunderstanding. With that said, it feels like a betrayal. Then again, it appears no one actually visits this site; therefore, what will really be the harm, right? I should be fine, right?
6. Are you going to give me the sample or not?
Fine. Against my better judgement, here you go: A cow unknowingly samples the milk of her clone. The caption reads, “This tastes familiar.”
7. If not you then what?
The Etro suede safari hat.
8. If you were to ever pen an autobiography what would be the title?
“The Hat Who Didn’t Know Enough”
9. If you could choose to return as any person or thing what would it be?
Sam Elliot’s smirk.