1. What is your idea of the perfect day trip?
Afternoon tea inside myself.
2. If you could style yourself what would be the accoutrements?
3. If you could be reimagined by another artist whom would you choose?
4. What is your most recent, ingenious discovery ?
For all of those sweet beans that don’t make the final, aesthetic cut, Jelly Belly packages and sells a series of jellybeans called Belly Flops. Learn to market failure. Somewhere that should be a mantra for life.
5. What would you like to see more of?
Me on others. Let’s be honest, I make a statement. More often than not, the statement is, “Where is that exactly?” Nevertheless, it’s a statement still.
6. What would you like to see less of?
Age appropriate dressing grids. When it comes to fashion, rules seem to have an air of the oxymoronic.
7. What do you think the woman wearing you is currently looking for in a man?
8. Making believe I wasn’t in the picture, what other person’s questions would you agree to answer?
The genius Howard Schatz.
9. Assume I’ve shape-shifted into Mr. Schatz; how would you respond to the following?
a. The leader of a religious cult, new on the scene, has decided you will be the official uniform of choice.
b. A baby belonging to your owner’s best friend has chosen to introduce leaky diaper, by way of too much asparagus, into its repertoire while nuzzled against you.
c. The husband of your owner has just excused himself from a dinner party honoring his wife in order to sneak upstairs, slip you on and sing “Easy” by Lionel Richie to his reflection in the mirror.