1. If you had to choose one Elizabeth in all the land, who would be your favorite?
Elizabeth ‘Lizzie’ Bennet. The woman knew what she wanted and settled for nothing less.
2. If you had to choose one James in all the land, who would be your favorite?
I’m not sure if surnames count and it’s gonna have to be two. With that said, I would choose Richard and Betty James. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the one and only…
If you’re like me, you’re dreaming of an eternal staircase right about now.
3. If not you, then what?
A Georges Braque gold ring.
4. Is there an instrumental song that you like so much you wish it had lyrics?
“Angela” or as some of you might know it, the theme song from the television show “Taxi.” Please note, my names appear nowhere in the title, which can only mean I truly love the song.
5. Are you a lover or a fighter?
A lover. I know no other way.
6. Where do you see yourself being the most useful?
Um… let me think… In a bar brawl, most likely. Now, I’m in no way condoning violence, that’s obviously not the case considering I’m a lover, however, you asked therefore it was my duty to give you a hypothetical.
7. Can you give me specifics on your usefulness in a hypothetical bar brawl?
Well… I guess I can see myself puncturing something that would be very painful to have punctured, sending my opponent fleeing into the night. I say night because I can’t really see myself getting after it during daytime hours.
8. Is there something that’s not painful to have punctured?
Probably not. But I’d also like to take this moment to point out that, with me, you would be bringing along to your fight in a bar a sense of refinement and simplicity, not to mention sophistication, as opposed to what one would bring with a pair of brass knuckles or whatever other contrabandish-type thing one might choose to bring… to a fight… in a bar. *clears throat*
9. So let me get this straight. Are you now condoning your use in bar brawls?
I don’t really know what I’m doing at this point, to be completely honest with you.