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Archive for January, 2011|Monthly archive page


In neck on January 28, 2011 at 8:15pm01

1. What is your favorite human body part?

Since I possess the ability to either enhance it or make one forget it’s even there, it would have to be the clavicle.

2. If not you then what?

A vintage Elsa Schiaparelli coat with drawing by surrealist Jean Cocteau.

3. Overrated is?

Feet firmly planted on the ground. Sometimes a little levity may be just the thing to set you free.

4. Do you have a favorite mnemonic device?

Brought to you by the ill-fated wives of Henry VIII:

“Divorced, beheaded, died; divorced, beheaded, survived.”

5. Who does it right?

As always, Grace.

6. Who does it wrong?

Old-timey toothaches.

7. Do you have a favorite tying technique?

A simple knot.

8. Is there a particular neck you would like to be simply knotted around?

The neck of the septuagenarian on the day she finally decides to hop into her ’78 Silver Shadow and head down to the marina to confront her philandering husband at the condo he shares with his psychic-yogalates instructing mistress whose claim to fame is foreseeing the work to be done on your core.

9. Is there a song that you imagine she would be playing en route?

And not only does she know every single word, but the windows are down and the song blaring.

10.  I’ve never done this, but I just have to know. What happens post-confrontation?

Well… with the fleeting solace of victory officially behind her, she will get back into the Silver Shadow. Drive back to the flats of Beverly Hills alone, in silence, windows rolled up. Enter her home. Head straight for the bar. Pour herself a glass of Scotch neat, for the first time in a very long time. Drop down onto her custom chaise with glass in hand. Rip me from her neck, destroying the simple knot and it is here and only here that she will cry, using me to collect her tears. And do you know what? I won’t mind it one bit.


In lower body on January 27, 2011 at 8:15pm01

1. Are there any song lyrics in particular you can relate to?

“Darling, stop confusing me with your wishful thinking.” — “Play Dead” by Bjork

2. What is your idea of the perfect day trip?

The Noguchi Museum located in Long Island City, NY.

3. Overrated is?

A pop of color.

4. Who would make the perfect dining companion?

Mary Quant,  miniskirt pioneer.  I love a good debate over a meal.

5. If you could be reimagined by another artist who would it be?

Roxy Paine

6. What is your least favorite response?

Say what?!

7. What insect do you remind yourself of?

A black caterpillar, amid metamorphosis.

8. If not you then what?

A Daphne Guinness skunk streak.

9. Black or white?

Does it matter?


In upper body on January 26, 2011 at 8:15pm01

1. If you could choose one person to be worn by, who would it be?

The man who up and decides, in the middle of a work day, that he’s bidding farewell the thankless, cubicle dwelling, straphanger life and taking to the open road, without a plan and with me on his back. But before he makes his final exit, he moves over to his former computer, logs onto YouTube, finds “Sweet Freedom” and gives his co-workers the most earnest, out of key, flailing limbed, stapler-acting-as-a-microphone performance of a lifetime. The performance gets a bit of added momentum when he spots a few people — still looking on with “dude is nuts” expressions — starting to bob their heads to the beat. Save for Glenda. Glenda’s smiling big, having been sucked back to her days as a Soul Train dancer and from the waste up she’s putting invisible magnet letters on the invisible scramble board and resurrecting dance moves that heard the death knell as far back as ’78, “Those were some good ol’ days. Days when a red leotard on this body wasn’t considered a crime scene.”

2. And then who knows what’s waiting for him, right?!

Well, security but other than that… Yeah, I’m assuming pretty exciting stuff.

3. If not you then what?

A Common Projects two pocket, accordion wallet.

4. What is something you abhor in people?

The blatant riding of coattails while making others believe you’re steering the vessel.

5. What is your least favorite question?


6. If you could be reimagined by another artist who would it be?

The Unknown Hipster

7. What makes you dynamic?

I’m gonna need you to whittle that down to a finer point?

8. What is something about you we would otherwise not know?

I don’t enjoy hunting.

9.  Is there a word you would like to soon see retire?



In Fran Lebowitz, upper body on January 25, 2011 at 8:15pm01

1. What is an interesting fact about you?

I’m all business in the front but a party in the back.

2. If you could find anything in your pockets what would it be?

Forgotten candy still in the wrapper

3. If not you then what?

A Haider Ackermann silk  jacket.

4. If you could choose one person to be worn by, who would it be?

Fran Lebowitz.

5. What is one word a blazer should always live by?


6. You’re on your way to the gallows, what’s the final meal?

Who have you been talking to? Am I being set up? I was just along for the ride. I had no idea what they were planning. No idea! But you should’ve seen it! They had her —  and then they took him and —

7.  So, next question. What is something you value in a person?

Their ability to not know their way around hatchets, crossbows, silencers and quicklime.

8. Right. What is something you would like to see less of?


9. Let’s try for a softball. What is your favorite animal?

Kittens! Fluffy, happy, innocent kittens.